My Prayers Have Been Answered..

Jesus fucking Christ.. Just when I thought this world couldn't get any more ridiculous..


From an article taken from the BBC News site

TV plan to find Jade musical star

A TV talent show to find an "ordinary girl" to play Jade Goody in a musical based on her life is being planned, it has been announced.

Goody's ex-business partner Danny Hayward said no deal had been struck with a TV network but that the stage musical would "definitely happen".

Goody's former publicist Max Clifford said it was "a wonderful idea that has got very, very strong potential".

He said he would be a judge on the TV show "if it comes to fruition".

Mr Hayward, who was one of Goody's "best men" at her wedding to Jack Tweed in February, said open auditions would take place across the UK to find hopefuls who will compete in the TV show.

Dates would be announced in three weeks' time, he said.

"Jade was just an ordinary girl and the person who plays her will reflect that," he added.

He said he was hoping to "repeat history" by turning an unknown into a household name, as happened with Goody.

"Her dream as a little girl was to be in a musical, so obviously when she passed away it felt fitting to do something like this."

He said Goody had not known about the project, as the idea had been devised since her death.

Asked if he was concerned people would accuse him of exploiting Goody, Mr Hayward said: "I have nothing to say to those people, really.

"She was tabloid gold. The people have the right to choose their hero.

"If the show continues to raise awareness about cervical cancer, be a good night out and further her legacy, then it's not really hurting anyone."

He said the production would include some original songs, which would be written by "well-known bands, who wish to remain anonymous" at the moment.

No deal has been struck with a TV network, but he said he hoped to pitch to MTV and ITV2.

Film plan

Meanwhile, Mr Clifford said the project was "nothing more than an idea - we're talking ifs, buts and maybes".

He added: "If it comes to fruition, then yes I will be a judge. It's a wait and see.

"If I'm going to announce something is happening, it's because I know it's going ahead."

Earlier this month, Mr Clifford revealed he had been in talks with several film companies about making a movie based on Goody.

He told Radio 1 Newsbeat that they were "serious discussions" because her "incredible life touched so many people".

Goody, who became famous after appearing in Big Brother, passed away in March after she lost her high-profile battle with cancer.

Thousands of people turned out to see the funeral procession, which travelled through London before reaching Buckhurst Hill in Essex, where the funeral took place.


I'm expecting the film to be a mix of Made In Britain and Salo but with more racism and torture..

60-Foot Penis Painted On Roof ..

So I realise this blog has just become a shit mess of "funny stuff" but no one wants to read my heartfelt letter to Jade Goody's children anyway..


Taken from a BBC Newsbeat article



An 18-year-old has secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire. It was there for a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling.

KFCLOLZ..

From an article on WMUR New Hampshire

Investigation Continues Into KFC Prank Call

Employees Left Standing Naked Outside Restaurant

MANCHESTER, N.H. -- Police Friday were continuing to investigate a prank that left some Kentucky Fried Chicken employees naked outside the restaurant Thursday.

Investigators said the workers at the Manchester restaurant were victims of a mean and dangerous prank.

A manager pulled a pin for the restaurant's fire suppression system, which rained chemicals on her and others, because she was told to by a man on the phone claiming to be her boss from the corporate office.

"And then they were told by this person on the phone to go outside and disrobe and actually urinate on one another to decontaminate each other," said Lt. Peter Bartlett.

Police said that somehow, the prankster managed to keep the employees on the phone for 10 to 15 minutes. Only when someone in the parking lot called police to say a woman was standing in the doorway naked did police and fire show up, and that's when the prankster finally hung up.

Employees at the KFC didn't want to talk to reporters about what happened.

Police said that anyone receiving unusual instructions over the phone should try to verify the person's identity.

"If you're not sure about it, hang up, and make a phone call," Bartlett said. "And if you're not sure about that, call us."

Investigators said no one was injured in the prank.

Police are still trying to figure out who made the call. Many Web sites and blogs are reporting that it may have come from a man in Canada who often makes similar prank calls and posts them online.

Trail Of Stench..

Taken from a BBC News article


Man 'waged urine-spray campaign'

A man sprayed a mixture of urine and faeces in two supermarkets, a pub and a bookshop in Gloucestershire, a jury at Bristol Crown Court has heard.

Sahnoun Daifallah, 42, of Bibury Road, Gloucester, is alleged to have caused damage estimated at £700,000 last May.

Mr Daifallah pleaded not guilty to four charges of contaminating goods and two of damaging property.

He also denied possession of material to contaminate goods and possession of an offensive weapon.

The court heard he visited the Air Balloon pub near the village of Birdlip on 14 May 2008 where police were called after he asked a barmaid how much it would cost to rape her.

When officers arrived Mr Daifallah was no longer there but he had left a "trail of stench" behind him, the court was told.

Stephen Dent, prosecuting, told the jury: "This was his little calling card because he did not like the way he had been treated."

He then moved on to Waterstones bookstore in Cirencester where it is alleged he sprayed the substance from a spray container all over a toilet in the coffee shop. In total 706 books were contaminated.

Frozen chips

On 16 May 2008 Mr Daifallah is said to have visited Tesco in Quedgeley where a shopper noticed him acting suspiciously with a laptop bag in the frozen food aisle.

The prosecution told the court a customer saw Mr Daifallah reach into his bag and produce a jet of fluid which smelt like urine over the frozen chips.

He then moved on to the wine section where a member of staff saw a fine vapour come out of his bag and on to the wine, leaving brown fluid over the shelves, the court heard.

The store was closed for two days for cleaning.

He is then alleged to have driven to Morrisons in Abbeydale.

An employee saw Mr Daifallah acting strangely in the wine section.

He said Mr Daifallah "absolutely stunk" and that he had to stop himself from gagging because of the strong smell of ammonia and urine.

The trial continues.


What a fucking loon.. Props for ingenuity though.

Blame It On The Credit Crunch..

Taken from an article on the MSNBC website:

Father Accused Of Selling Daughter For Beer
Police: Man Called Police After Not Getting Payments

GREENFIELD, Calif. - A father is accused of trying to sell his 14-year-old daughter for marriage in hopes of getting money and 150 cases of beer in return, Greenfield police said.

Macelino de Jesus Martinez, 36, was arrested Monday on suspicion of trying to arrange to have his daughter marry Margarito de Jesus Galindo, 18, for $16,000, 100 cases of Corona, 50 cases of Modelo beer, several cases of meat, two cases of wine, 50 cases of Gatorade and 50 cases of soft drinks, authorities said.

The girl moved in with Galindo and when payments were not received, her father called police to get his daughter back.

Greenfield Police Chief Joe Grebmeier told KSBW Action News 8 that both Martinez and Galindo, who are immigrants from Mexico, face the possibility of being deported as illegal immigrants.

Grebmeier also said that both men didn’t fully understand that what they were doing was wrong.

Also, the girl told police that she willingly moved in with Galindo.

Arranged marriages are common in the section of Mexico where both Galindo and Martinez are from.

But California law prohibits arranged marriage where one or both of the parties have been coerced.

Galindo was arrested and booked into the Monterey County Jail on suspicion of statutory rape, and Martinez was arrested and booked on suspicion of receiving money for causing a person to cohabitate.

Grebmeier said that there have been rumors of arranged marriages taking place in the Greenfield area before, but that this was the first arrest concerning the act of human trafficking in the city that he knows of.

The case will head to the district attorney’s office Tuesday.



Fucking pigs getting in the way of cultural traditions they don't understand..

Hitler Youth..

Taken from Yahoo News


Cake request for 3-year-old Hitler namesake denied

EASTON, Pa. – A supermarket is defending itself for refusing to a write out 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell's name on his birthday cake.

Deborah Campbell, 25, of nearby Hunterdon County, N.J., said she phoned in her order last week to the Greenwich ShopRite. When she told the bakery department she wanted her son's name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request.

Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman, said the store denied similar requests from the Campbells the last two years, including a request for a swastika.

"We reserve the right not to print anything on the cake that we deem to be inappropriate," Meleta said. "We considered this inappropriate."

The Campbells ultimately got their cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania, Deborah Campbell said Tuesday.

Wal-Mart spokeswoman Anna Taylor told The Easton Express-Times that the store won't put anything illegal or profane on a cake but thinks it's important to respect the views of customers and employees.

"Our No. 1 priority in decorating cakes is to serve the customer to the best of our ability," Taylor said from Bentonville, Ark.

When reached by The Associated Press, Taylor said she'd call back to provide a comment.

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name."

The Campbells' two other children are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in a few months, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, who will be 1 in April.

Campbell said he was raised not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically. But he said he would try to raise his children differently.

"Say he grows up and hangs out with black people. That's fine, I don't really care," he said. "That's his choice."

He said about 12 people attended the birthday party on Sunday, including several children of mixed race.

Sounds to me like ShopRite are a bunch of fucking race traitors.

This Is Quite Possibly..

..The most beautiful, heart-warming story I have ever read.

Taken from an article on the Chicago Tribune website..


Practicising Abstinence, Bride and Groom Have Never Kissed

When the officiant tells Claudaniel Fabien he can kiss his bride at the altar Saturday, no one will fault the couple for a little "should I tilt my head this way, or that way?" awkwardness.

It will be the couple's very first kiss.

And that night could be their very first ... uh, back to that kiss.

"I don't know how long it'll last, but it'll be great," says a confident Melody LaLuz, 28, who is marrying 30-year-old Fabien in Chicago after a yearlong courtship and two-year friendship.

The "no-kissing" rule came up as a way to prevent things from getting out of hand.

You see, Fabien and LaLuz both teach abstinence courses to Chicago Public Schools teens. And they say they practice what they preach.

To avoid temptation while dating, they made sure they were never alone with each other in a house. When they watched movies on the couch, they snuggled sitting straight up, never lying down.

"It really tested us and encouraged us to grow closer in our hearts and our minds, just expressing things verbally," Fabien said.

He found other ways to show LaLuz his passion—like by cleaning her car. And washing the dishes.

Despite abstaining, they have no anxieties about their upcoming Bahamas honeymoon.

Yes, they've heard "test drive the car before you buy," but LaLuz has her own analogy.

"You can't take the car out of the parking lot until you pay for it," she said

Hollywood Strikes Again..

A leaked photo from the Old Boy film set I got from a contact

So it looks like Hollywood really are remaking Old Boy after all. After speculation that Tom Cruise would play the lead role, it turns out the far more accomplished and more suitable Will Smith is to fit the role with master director Steven Spielberg sorting out the drugs..


Taken from an article on the Coming Soon website..

Spielberg and Smith Eyeing Oldboy Remake
Source: Variety
November 7, 2008

Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are in early discussions to collaborate on a remake of Chan Wook-park's Oldboy, says Variety. DreamWorks is in the process of securing the remake rights, and the new film will be distributed by Universal.

In the 2003 Korean original, a man gets kidnapped and held in a shabby cell for 15 years without explanation. Suddenly, he's released and given money, a cell phone and clothes and is set on a path to discover who destroyed his life so he can take revenge.

Smith who would play the kidnapped man if all the pieces fall into place. Spielberg is looking for a writer to begin the development process.

Spielberg is next expected to direct Tintin.


I have every faith that this will be a powerful and awe-inspiring piece of tragic thrill-drama; maybe even more so than the original! LOLZ!

Kids These Days..

Article from the Telegraph website:

Toddlers who dislike spicy food 'racist'

The National Children's Bureau, which receives £12 million a year, mainly from Government funded organisations, has issued guidance to play leaders and nursery teachers advising them to be alert for racist incidents among youngsters in their care. This could include a child of as young as three who says "yuk" in response to being served unfamiliar foreign food.

The guidance by the NCB is designed to draw attention to potentially-racist attitudes in youngsters from a young age. It alerts playgroup leaders that even babies can not be ignored in the drive to root out prejudice as they can "recognise different people in their lives".

The 366-page guide for staff in charge of pre-school children, called Young Children and Racial Justice, warns: "Racist incidents among children in early years settings tend to be around name-calling, casual thoughtless comments and peer group relationships."

It advises nursery teachers to be on the alert for childish abuse such as: "blackie", "Pakis", "those people" or "they smell". The guide goes on to warn that children might also "react negatively to a culinary tradition other than their own by saying 'yuk'".

Staff are told: "No racist incident should be ignored. When there is a clear racist incident, it is necessary to be specific in condemning the action." Warning that failing to pick children up on their racist attitudes could instil prejudice, the NCB adds that if children "reveal negative attitudes, the lack of censure may indicate to the child that there is nothing unacceptable about such attitudes".

Nurseries are encouraged to report as many incidents as possible to their local council. The guide added: "Some people think that if a large number of racist incidents are reported, this will reflect badly on the institution. In fact, the opposite is the case."


I don't know about racism, but if you don't like curry by the time you're two you're a fucking idiot.

Thank Fuck For Russia..

Taken from an article on the Kerrang website

Emo and goth to be made illegal in Russia

The Russian government is in the process of drafting a law to make emo and goth music illegal.

Last month a parliamentary committee was convened to discuss a draft proposal of the Russian government's Government Strategy In The Sphere Of Spiritual And Ethical Education bill, the details of which were leaked to The Moscow Times. The newspaper subsequently reported that, among other things, the draft bill dubbed the musical movements a "dangerous teen trend" and called for emo and goth websites to be regulated and young people dressing like emos or goths to be banned from entering schools and government buildings.

The newspaper interviewed one of the bill's authors, Igor Ponkin from the Russian Interior Ministry's Public Oversight Council. Ponkin called emo a "social danger" and "a threat to national stability" and said the bill is a reaction to teen suicides such as the tragic death of British teenager Hannah Bond.

"This type of behaviour is a crucial part of emo ideology," said Ponkin. "Of course there are emo teens who just listen to their music. But our actions are not directed at them but rather at those who also hurt themselves, commit suicide and promote those acts."

The Moscow Times also interviewed psychologist Inna Cherkova who said:

"Suicide is not a symptom of emo culture. I work with other teens too, and every group has emotionally troubled kids."

However, the bill is expected to become law in Russia before the end of the year.

The commies are lightyears ahead of us when it comes to social policy. Of course, the best thing about this article is the comments. Here's one from some angsty loser named "Benji":

LOL

If i lived in russia they'd hate me so muchhhh,
I'd dress up like an emo just to piss em off lawl.
Government sucks,
Chavs suck,
Society now a days sucks,
EVerything sucks,
But so what.
Who cares how mesed up this world is,
I dont.
I'm punk,
I shouldn't care,
But government piss me off so much.
Bastards.

You tell 'em man. I'm glad to see punk's not dead.