Saturday 4 July 2009

Late Nights. Early Graves.

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Tuesday 16 June 2009

Fuck This Shitty Blog..




I'm bored of writing this shit. Goodbye.

Sunday 31 May 2009

Bite The Hand That Feeds You Shit..




This blog has been about as active as Phil Spector's music career as of late.. Mainly because I have been out fighting oppression on the streets and making love to literally thousands of MPs wives. After my daily breakfast of 4 sheets of blotter acid and half a pint of temazepam, I stick on a bit of Cult Ritual and I'm set to go. If for some reason, you DON'T listen to this band then I guess I've got a minute or two to explain..

Take the singer of Sum 41 (okay, maybe just in this picture), add a little weight and remove a chromosome, then chuck in some cut-throat vocals, visceral anti-everything lyrics and a volatile guitar and rhythm section that sounds like its throwing a serious hissy-fit in the carehome, and you're about halfway there. Oh, and noise, feedback and noise. They have no Myspace because they're punk as fuck but you can download everything they've ever recorded for free off their blog.

I'd go for their 2nd ep.. Shit hits harder than a phencyclidine milkshake.

Sunday 17 May 2009

War Is My Destiny..

This beat blew my mind even since I first heard the snippet.. Shame the album turned out to be such a letdown.

This video is fucking insane..

Wednesday 6 May 2009

SHOCK!!! HORROR!!! UPDATE!!!

VIDS!!!


NEW WU!!!


NEW JOELL!!!


NEW RIOTS!!!

Sunday 26 April 2009

My Prayers Have Been Answered..



Jesus fucking Christ.. Just when I thought this world couldn't get any more ridiculous..


From an article taken from the BBC News site

TV plan to find Jade musical star

A TV talent show to find an "ordinary girl" to play Jade Goody in a musical based on her life is being planned, it has been announced.

Goody's ex-business partner Danny Hayward said no deal had been struck with a TV network but that the stage musical would "definitely happen".

Goody's former publicist Max Clifford said it was "a wonderful idea that has got very, very strong potential".

He said he would be a judge on the TV show "if it comes to fruition".

Mr Hayward, who was one of Goody's "best men" at her wedding to Jack Tweed in February, said open auditions would take place across the UK to find hopefuls who will compete in the TV show.

Dates would be announced in three weeks' time, he said.

"Jade was just an ordinary girl and the person who plays her will reflect that," he added.

He said he was hoping to "repeat history" by turning an unknown into a household name, as happened with Goody.

"Her dream as a little girl was to be in a musical, so obviously when she passed away it felt fitting to do something like this."

He said Goody had not known about the project, as the idea had been devised since her death.

Asked if he was concerned people would accuse him of exploiting Goody, Mr Hayward said: "I have nothing to say to those people, really.

"She was tabloid gold. The people have the right to choose their hero.

"If the show continues to raise awareness about cervical cancer, be a good night out and further her legacy, then it's not really hurting anyone."

He said the production would include some original songs, which would be written by "well-known bands, who wish to remain anonymous" at the moment.

No deal has been struck with a TV network, but he said he hoped to pitch to MTV and ITV2.

Film plan

Meanwhile, Mr Clifford said the project was "nothing more than an idea - we're talking ifs, buts and maybes".

He added: "If it comes to fruition, then yes I will be a judge. It's a wait and see.

"If I'm going to announce something is happening, it's because I know it's going ahead."

Earlier this month, Mr Clifford revealed he had been in talks with several film companies about making a movie based on Goody.

He told Radio 1 Newsbeat that they were "serious discussions" because her "incredible life touched so many people".

Goody, who became famous after appearing in Big Brother, passed away in March after she lost her high-profile battle with cancer.

Thousands of people turned out to see the funeral procession, which travelled through London before reaching Buckhurst Hill in Essex, where the funeral took place.


I'm expecting the film to be a mix of Made In Britain and Salo but with more racism and torture..

Wednesday 22 April 2009

Motherfucker Move On..



I didn't think much of this track when I first heard it but it's steadily grown on me.. Joell Ortiz kills it as usual. I've got high hopes for the album but Royce needs to step his game up - no one gives a fuck about his reconciliation with Eminem.. That beef was like 10 years ago.

Treelung..



Taken from an article from well respected unbiased news publication The Daily Mail


Shocked Russian surgeons open up man who thought he had a tumour... to find a FIR TREE inside his lung

A fir tree has been found growing inside a man's lung by surgeons who were operating on him for suspected cancer.

The tree, measuring 5cm, was discovered by Russian doctors when they opened up Artyom Sidorkin, 28, to remove what they thought was a tumour.

Medical staff believe that Mr Sidorkin somehow inhaled a seed, which later sprouted into a small fir tree inside his lung.

The patient had complained of extreme pain in his chest and had been coughing up blood. Doctors were convinced he had cancer.

'We were 100 per cent sure,' said surgeon Vladimir Kamashev from Izhevsk in the Urals. 'We did X-rays and found what looked exactly like a tumour. I had seen hundreds before, so we decided on surgery.'

Surgeons claim this is the fir tree growing inside the man's lung after it was removed.

Before removing the major part of the man's lung, the surgeon investigated the tissue taken in a biopsy.

'I thought I was hallucinating,' said Dr Kamashev. 'I asked my assistant to have a look: "Come and see this - we've got a fir tree here".

'He nodded in shock. I blinked three times as I was sure I was seeing things.'

They believed the coughing of blood was caused by the tiny pine needles piercing blood capillaries. 'It was very painful. But to be honest I did not feel any foreign object inside me,' said Mr Sidorkin. 'I'm so relieved it's not cancer.'

The report appeared in popular tabloid Komsomolskaya Gazeta, and was picked up by Russian news service Novosti.




Thursday 26 March 2009

60-Foot Penis Painted On Roof ..

So I realise this blog has just become a shit mess of "funny stuff" but no one wants to read my heartfelt letter to Jade Goody's children anyway..


Taken from a BBC Newsbeat article



An 18-year-old has secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire. It was there for a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling.

Sunday 8 March 2009

Kill Me..



I can't live in a world where these living abortions are allowed to exist. Seriously.

Sunday 1 March 2009

Give Me A Hell.. Give Me A Yeah..



This isn't the worst thing I've ever heard but it's pretty fucking close. Definitely had to turn my speakers down in case my neighbours heard me listening to it.

Saturday 28 February 2009

KFCLOLZ..



From an article on WMUR New Hampshire

Investigation Continues Into KFC Prank Call

Employees Left Standing Naked Outside Restaurant

MANCHESTER, N.H. -- Police Friday were continuing to investigate a prank that left some Kentucky Fried Chicken employees naked outside the restaurant Thursday.

Investigators said the workers at the Manchester restaurant were victims of a mean and dangerous prank.

A manager pulled a pin for the restaurant's fire suppression system, which rained chemicals on her and others, because she was told to by a man on the phone claiming to be her boss from the corporate office.

"And then they were told by this person on the phone to go outside and disrobe and actually urinate on one another to decontaminate each other," said Lt. Peter Bartlett.

Police said that somehow, the prankster managed to keep the employees on the phone for 10 to 15 minutes. Only when someone in the parking lot called police to say a woman was standing in the doorway naked did police and fire show up, and that's when the prankster finally hung up.

Employees at the KFC didn't want to talk to reporters about what happened.

Police said that anyone receiving unusual instructions over the phone should try to verify the person's identity.

"If you're not sure about it, hang up, and make a phone call," Bartlett said. "And if you're not sure about that, call us."

Investigators said no one was injured in the prank.

Police are still trying to figure out who made the call. Many Web sites and blogs are reporting that it may have come from a man in Canada who often makes similar prank calls and posts them online.

Tuesday 24 February 2009

Trail Of Stench..



Taken from a BBC News article


Man 'waged urine-spray campaign'

A man sprayed a mixture of urine and faeces in two supermarkets, a pub and a bookshop in Gloucestershire, a jury at Bristol Crown Court has heard.

Sahnoun Daifallah, 42, of Bibury Road, Gloucester, is alleged to have caused damage estimated at £700,000 last May.

Mr Daifallah pleaded not guilty to four charges of contaminating goods and two of damaging property.

He also denied possession of material to contaminate goods and possession of an offensive weapon.

The court heard he visited the Air Balloon pub near the village of Birdlip on 14 May 2008 where police were called after he asked a barmaid how much it would cost to rape her.

When officers arrived Mr Daifallah was no longer there but he had left a "trail of stench" behind him, the court was told.

Stephen Dent, prosecuting, told the jury: "This was his little calling card because he did not like the way he had been treated."

He then moved on to Waterstones bookstore in Cirencester where it is alleged he sprayed the substance from a spray container all over a toilet in the coffee shop. In total 706 books were contaminated.

Frozen chips

On 16 May 2008 Mr Daifallah is said to have visited Tesco in Quedgeley where a shopper noticed him acting suspiciously with a laptop bag in the frozen food aisle.

The prosecution told the court a customer saw Mr Daifallah reach into his bag and produce a jet of fluid which smelt like urine over the frozen chips.

He then moved on to the wine section where a member of staff saw a fine vapour come out of his bag and on to the wine, leaving brown fluid over the shelves, the court heard.

The store was closed for two days for cleaning.

He is then alleged to have driven to Morrisons in Abbeydale.

An employee saw Mr Daifallah acting strangely in the wine section.

He said Mr Daifallah "absolutely stunk" and that he had to stop himself from gagging because of the strong smell of ammonia and urine.

The trial continues.


What a fucking loon.. Props for ingenuity though.

Thursday 12 February 2009

FUCK Kicked Down..



These fucking losers robbed some X-Box shit and some paint from the flat of a Brighton promoter who put them up for the night and sorted them with food.

Message them abuse if you're bored..

Kicked Down Myspace

EDIT: Apparently it wasn't any of the band members but some ginger kid who was with them. I couldn't care less.. Message them for being ugly cunts anyway.

Tuesday 10 February 2009

RIP SKEAM FDC..

Wednesday 4 February 2009

Jihad Jokes..




One thing that really makes me laugh is this so-called "militant" Islam nonsense. Okay.. So they might have made us the butt of their little Jihad joke with the 7/7 bombings (though they could've done a lot better) but let's have a look at how incompentent these stupid pieces of shit really are.

First we have the 21/7 bombers, whose bombs failed to go off in the London Underground due to a Mr. Muktar Ibrahim cocking up the explosive mix. You'd think that if you went to all the time and effort to bomb infidels, you'd make sure the fucking things worked. They later claimed they just wanted to scare the public a bit.. The whole thing reeks of attention starved childhoods and I'm sure Allah is pissing himself with embarassment.

Next we have big man on campus Mr. Bilah Abdulla and his gang of try-hards. After failing to "blow up all the slags" at Tiger Tiger nightclub (he was probably pissed off his wife won't give him head), he manages to petrol bomb himself after impaling his vehicle on a metal post at Glasgow airport.

And just recently in the news, we hear of Nicky Reilly, who accidently blows himself half to fuck with a nailbomb in a toilet cubicle in Exeter. To be fair, he did have the mental age of a 10-year-old, but someone in the terrorist recruitment agency really needs a lesson in suitable candidates to brainwash because special needs Holy War just doesn't cut it.

The question isn't why are these extremists doing it, but why are they so fucking bad at it?