Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Hitler Youth..

Taken from Yahoo News

Cake request for 3-year-old Hitler namesake denied

EASTON, Pa. – A supermarket is defending itself for refusing to a write out 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell's name on his birthday cake.

Deborah Campbell, 25, of nearby Hunterdon County, N.J., said she phoned in her order last week to the Greenwich ShopRite. When she told the bakery department she wanted her son's name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request.

Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman, said the store denied similar requests from the Campbells the last two years, including a request for a swastika.

"We reserve the right not to print anything on the cake that we deem to be inappropriate," Meleta said. "We considered this inappropriate."

The Campbells ultimately got their cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania, Deborah Campbell said Tuesday.

Wal-Mart spokeswoman Anna Taylor told The Easton Express-Times that the store won't put anything illegal or profane on a cake but thinks it's important to respect the views of customers and employees.

"Our No. 1 priority in decorating cakes is to serve the customer to the best of our ability," Taylor said from Bentonville, Ark.

When reached by The Associated Press, Taylor said she'd call back to provide a comment.

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name."

The Campbells' two other children are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in a few months, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, who will be 1 in April.

Campbell said he was raised not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically. But he said he would try to raise his children differently.

"Say he grows up and hangs out with black people. That's fine, I don't really care," he said. "That's his choice."

He said about 12 people attended the birthday party on Sunday, including several children of mixed race.

Sounds to me like ShopRite are a bunch of fucking race traitors.

Please God No..

Glen Matlock writing Pretty Vacant II.

So I just read on Punknews that the Sex Pistols might be recording another album. That Glen Matlock wanker (the one who ate the cum sandwich and signed my t-shirt at a Borders instore when I was fourteen and fucking cool) rambled something along the lines of:

"The Sex Pistols? We've done our bit this year…we'll meet again in the new year and see what we want to do. We were not recording a new album - I think that journalists are making it up, but you can never say never. We all got ideas between us. It's a double-edged sword if you do it not good as the original, and if you don't do it people want to know why - but it's up to us. We are the masters of our own destiny."

Can't these senile old men put the instruments down and leave the punk to younger, more intense bands like The Script?

Who The Fuck..

..Is Kate Moss? Or Sam Hiscox for that matter?

Monday, 15 December 2008

Good Habits..

I think I'm gonna get into this shit in 2009..

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

This Is Quite Possibly..

..The most beautiful, heart-warming story I have ever read.

Taken from an article on the Chicago Tribune website..

Practicising Abstinence, Bride and Groom Have Never Kissed

When the officiant tells Claudaniel Fabien he can kiss his bride at the altar Saturday, no one will fault the couple for a little "should I tilt my head this way, or that way?" awkwardness.

It will be the couple's very first kiss.

And that night could be their very first ... uh, back to that kiss.

"I don't know how long it'll last, but it'll be great," says a confident Melody LaLuz, 28, who is marrying 30-year-old Fabien in Chicago after a yearlong courtship and two-year friendship.

The "no-kissing" rule came up as a way to prevent things from getting out of hand.

You see, Fabien and LaLuz both teach abstinence courses to Chicago Public Schools teens. And they say they practice what they preach.

To avoid temptation while dating, they made sure they were never alone with each other in a house. When they watched movies on the couch, they snuggled sitting straight up, never lying down.

"It really tested us and encouraged us to grow closer in our hearts and our minds, just expressing things verbally," Fabien said.

He found other ways to show LaLuz his passion—like by cleaning her car. And washing the dishes.

Despite abstaining, they have no anxieties about their upcoming Bahamas honeymoon.

Yes, they've heard "test drive the car before you buy," but LaLuz has her own analogy.

"You can't take the car out of the parking lot until you pay for it," she said

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

And If There's Crack In The Basement..

How the fuck did I forget about the Cold Vein? I can think of nothing better to jam in your Ipod for these dark and icey winter evenings.. El-P's production is like having your brain torn out your ears with a PCP-dipped fishing hook.. In other words, it's ridiculous. Lyrically, Vast Aire and Vordul both merge into the madness with their stories of ghetto surgeries and crack babies born in the backstreets of Harlem.

If you haven't got this I suggest you kill yourself.. If you haven't got the balls for that, maybe you'd like to abuse this stolen link below..

(2001) - Cannibal Ox - The Cold Vein

Sunday, 16 November 2008

Lick'n Chick'n Present..

I must say I was pretty disappointed when I found out what it actually consisted of..

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Hollywood Strikes Again..

A leaked photo from the Old Boy film set I got from a contact

So it looks like Hollywood really are remaking Old Boy after all. After speculation that Tom Cruise would play the lead role, it turns out the far more accomplished and more suitable Will Smith is to fit the role with master director Steven Spielberg sorting out the drugs..

Taken from an article on the Coming Soon website..

Spielberg and Smith Eyeing Oldboy Remake
Source: Variety
November 7, 2008

Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are in early discussions to collaborate on a remake of Chan Wook-park's Oldboy, says Variety. DreamWorks is in the process of securing the remake rights, and the new film will be distributed by Universal.

In the 2003 Korean original, a man gets kidnapped and held in a shabby cell for 15 years without explanation. Suddenly, he's released and given money, a cell phone and clothes and is set on a path to discover who destroyed his life so he can take revenge.

Smith who would play the kidnapped man if all the pieces fall into place. Spielberg is looking for a writer to begin the development process.

Spielberg is next expected to direct Tintin.

I have every faith that this will be a powerful and awe-inspiring piece of tragic thrill-drama; maybe even more so than the original! LOLZ!

All To Hell..

So I've been listening to alot of the Black Diamond Heavies recently..

This band fucking crush, kill and destroy all the way. If I was an NME journalist I'd probably describe them as Tom Waits stabbing John Lee Hooker to death with a broken bottle of distortion he stole from the Stooges. I'm not though, so instead of having some sad little music-nerd wank fantasy I'll simply describe them as a really nasty, dirty, deranged garage-blues band that sound like they drink alot and do alot of coke. Did I mention distortion?

Because my Internet connection here is so shit, I'm resorting to stealing links (Fuck BT). I don't know how many blog points I lose for that but it's gotta be a fuckload. Anyway, here's their debut album from last year, Every Damn Time. Props to whoever upped it..

(2007) - Black Diamond Heavies - Every Damn Time

Monday, 10 November 2008

Tree Goats..

..are fucking kicking off.

Thursday, 6 November 2008

The Sun Never Sets On The Cool Kids..

Mumford and Sons are a London based band that play really fucking good indie-folk tunes complete with banjos and harmonies. Marcus Mumford's voice really reminds me of a more melancholic Kid Harpoon and this is one of the best EPs I've heard all year. I can see this band developing quite a buzz over the next year..

I can't be fucked to upload something I've just downloaded so here's a link I stole off some forum.

(2008) - Mumford And Sons - The Sun Never Sets On The Cool Kids EP

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

You Ain't Grinding 'Til You Tired..

With that tattooed tear, the Kurt Cobain reference and that t-shirt, the Game is proving to be a bit of an emo fag really. Maybe he's the next Cage? This tune is gully though - Lil' Wayne has such a soulful voice..

Sunday, 19 October 2008

If I Had Silly Money..

Old fuckin' school..

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Motion Sickness..

So last Saturday night I headed off to Motion in Bristol. Within ten minutes of standing outside, I was given a bottle of cider and guestlist details by pissed-up strangers - This was an indication of good things to come. There was a metal detector and a sniffer dog outside which seemed a bit much but once I got inside it felt more like a rave than a club and everyone was chewing their lips off. The main room is a skatepark in the day and absolutely massive and the garden is sick as well with shitloads of space. Maybe it was the fact I'd just avoided paying fifteen quid entrance fee or the effects of the crushed up gurner I'd put in my rum and coke but the vibe was dope. I saw some hipsters trying to fight which was quite amusing.

Midnight Jugganaughts played in the main room and they were pretty good - I've never heard them on record but in my state they sounded like a cross between Justice and Arcade Fire, which is probably a completely inaccurate description. Late Of The Pier played after this and they were also good, though the singer looked like the kind of self-important indie tosser you want to punch.

Digitalism finished the night off and despite all the shit I talk about that kind of music, I ended up dancing 'til the cows came home (..six). They played some remix of MGMT's Kids, which got every Vice Magazine electro art-fag student in Bristol to "get involved", as someone not quite as cool as me might say. In fact, the only bad thing about this night was the toilet queues, where pilled-up losers (you know the kind) subjected me to some of the most inane and annoying conversations I have ever heard in a club toilet. No, I don't want to buy some "gnarly ket".. Leave me alone.

Love you long time Motion... Will be returning soon.

Sunday, 28 September 2008

Kids These Days..

Article from the Telegraph website:

Toddlers who dislike spicy food 'racist'

The National Children's Bureau, which receives £12 million a year, mainly from Government funded organisations, has issued guidance to play leaders and nursery teachers advising them to be alert for racist incidents among youngsters in their care. This could include a child of as young as three who says "yuk" in response to being served unfamiliar foreign food.

The guidance by the NCB is designed to draw attention to potentially-racist attitudes in youngsters from a young age. It alerts playgroup leaders that even babies can not be ignored in the drive to root out prejudice as they can "recognise different people in their lives".

The 366-page guide for staff in charge of pre-school children, called Young Children and Racial Justice, warns: "Racist incidents among children in early years settings tend to be around name-calling, casual thoughtless comments and peer group relationships."

It advises nursery teachers to be on the alert for childish abuse such as: "blackie", "Pakis", "those people" or "they smell". The guide goes on to warn that children might also "react negatively to a culinary tradition other than their own by saying 'yuk'".

Staff are told: "No racist incident should be ignored. When there is a clear racist incident, it is necessary to be specific in condemning the action." Warning that failing to pick children up on their racist attitudes could instil prejudice, the NCB adds that if children "reveal negative attitudes, the lack of censure may indicate to the child that there is nothing unacceptable about such attitudes".

Nurseries are encouraged to report as many incidents as possible to their local council. The guide added: "Some people think that if a large number of racist incidents are reported, this will reflect badly on the institution. In fact, the opposite is the case."

I don't know about racism, but if you don't like curry by the time you're two you're a fucking idiot.

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Raised At Gunpoint: July 2008 Mix..

So it's nearly October but here's a load of tunes I was meant to upload in July but didn't get around to.. It's not like anyone reads this blog anyway.

1. Neutral Milk Hotel - Two-Headed Boy
2. Joell Ortiz - Hip-Hop (Remix - Feat. Jadakiss + Saigon)
3. Mischief Brew - Labor Day Massacre
4. Wordsworth - Dirtay (Feat. Cunninglynguists + Rise)
5. Poison Idea - Plastic Bomb
6. Mudhoney - Touch Me I'm Sick
7. Al Murray And The Cimarons - Morning Sun
8. Hammer Bros - Legion
9. Rhyme Asylum - Ground Zero
10. How We Are - If It Kills Me
11. Snowgoons - Still Waters Run Deep (Feat. Supastition)
12. The Plight - Ball And Chain
13. Ras Kass - Interview With A Vampire
14. In My Eyes - Can't Live Through Me

Raised At Gunpoint - July 2008 Mix

Swedes On Road..

So I always thought Swedish people were fucking weird (not mentioning any names), but this is ridiculous..

Sunday, 21 September 2008

Turn Cold..

Were fucking ill..

We Aren't Revolutionaries..

But we are the revolution..

Johnny Hobo and Mischief Brew.

Joe Budden/Joell Ortiz Mixtape..

Dub Floyd's cooked up some crack with a new Joey and Joell mixtape.. The tracklisting's a bit fucked but I'm sure you'll figure it out. I can't take the credit for upping this - here's the link..

Joell Ortiz/Joe Budden - Urban Warfare Mixtape

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Back Like Cooked Crack..

So after a brief hiatus, I've decided to inject some life into this cancer-ridden blog. I could make excuses for my absence like i've been busy or i'm lazy but really the truth is, the world just isn't very interesting. We need more natural disasters or some shit..

Anyway, here's Tom Waits' first performance of Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis..


Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Thank Fuck For Russia..

Taken from an article on the Kerrang website

Emo and goth to be made illegal in Russia

The Russian government is in the process of drafting a law to make emo and goth music illegal.

Last month a parliamentary committee was convened to discuss a draft proposal of the Russian government's Government Strategy In The Sphere Of Spiritual And Ethical Education bill, the details of which were leaked to The Moscow Times. The newspaper subsequently reported that, among other things, the draft bill dubbed the musical movements a "dangerous teen trend" and called for emo and goth websites to be regulated and young people dressing like emos or goths to be banned from entering schools and government buildings.

The newspaper interviewed one of the bill's authors, Igor Ponkin from the Russian Interior Ministry's Public Oversight Council. Ponkin called emo a "social danger" and "a threat to national stability" and said the bill is a reaction to teen suicides such as the tragic death of British teenager Hannah Bond.

"This type of behaviour is a crucial part of emo ideology," said Ponkin. "Of course there are emo teens who just listen to their music. But our actions are not directed at them but rather at those who also hurt themselves, commit suicide and promote those acts."

The Moscow Times also interviewed psychologist Inna Cherkova who said:

"Suicide is not a symptom of emo culture. I work with other teens too, and every group has emotionally troubled kids."

However, the bill is expected to become law in Russia before the end of the year.

The commies are lightyears ahead of us when it comes to social policy. Of course, the best thing about this article is the comments. Here's one from some angsty loser named "Benji":


If i lived in russia they'd hate me so muchhhh,
I'd dress up like an emo just to piss em off lawl.
Government sucks,
Chavs suck,
Society now a days sucks,
EVerything sucks,
But so what.
Who cares how mesed up this world is,
I dont.
I'm punk,
I shouldn't care,
But government piss me off so much.

You tell 'em man. I'm glad to see punk's not dead.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Well I Never..

Seriously, is he on crack or something?

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Raised At Gunpoint: June 2008 Mix..

From now on, every month I'm gonna upload a mix of tunes so I can show all my dedicated readers what good taste I have in music. You can even pretend to your friends that you discovered them yourself..

01 - Blacklisted - I Am Weighing Me Down
02 - Caribou - Bees
03 - Universal Soldiers - Immortal Kombat II
04 - The Black Heart Procession - We Always Knew
05 - Tear It Up - Fratboys
06 - Icon The Mic King - Still Do It
07 - Bread And Roses - Streets Of Chinatown
08 - Symarip - Skinhead Moonstomp
09 - Cursed - The Void
10 - Cilvaringz - In The Name Of Allah
11 - Broadways - I Hear Things Are Just As Bad In Lake Erie
12 - Avail - August
13 - Joe Budden - Are You In That Mood Yet?
14 - Black SS - Quick Fix
15 - Jawbreaker - Accident Prone

Raised At Gunpoint - June 2008 Mix

Baise Le Police

From a Stop the War Coalition email:

Many thanks to everyone who joined the George Bush Not Welcome Here demonstration last Sunday. Called at short notice and with Bush's movements kept secret till the last moment, we still mobilised over 3000 protestors. Disgracefully, and for the first time, a Stop the War demonstration was denied the right to march peacefully up Whitehall and past Downing Street, where George Bush was having dinner with Gordon Brown and -- among the other guests -- Rupert Murdoch.

Enforcing the ban on our march, the police attacked protestors with metal batons. At least three protestors received head wounds and many others were battered and bruised by blows to their arms, shoulders and backs.

One protester, who was hospitalised with a gashed head, described what happened, "First I was yelled at to move back from the barrier, but I couldn't move because there were so many behind me. Seconds later, I was hit by a number of policemen and policewomen. It was a very frightening experience."

Another said, "I was here for a peaceful protest -- this was our chance to show George Bush how despicable his war crimes are. The police were blood hungry -- it was absolutely unprovoked." To make matters worse police arrested 25 protestors and held many of them overnight, charging just three with minor offences. A few others were bailed pending possible charges. This aggression marked a new departure in policing of the anti-war movement. The Stop the War Coalition has formally complained to the home secretary Jacqui Smith and requested a meeting.

I say well done to our luminous allies for sorting those hippies out.

Friday, 13 June 2008

The Scream.

This definitely gave me about 6 seconds of quality headfuck.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Oh. My. God

This had me pissing myself all the way to the lolbank. How they could massacre an ermmm.. timeless classic like "Time After Time" is beyond me. And why do they think that annoying strobe shit is scary? It seems a little unfair to our epileptic community.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

Stone The Crows

My new slice of dope toast..

Shame I'm too broke to afford any records.. Anyone wanna give me some of them shits?

Here's some B-Town graff action from the last couple of months.


Juggalo Funeral

I think I nearly vomited. What with hearing the excited screams of the new Big Brother guinea pigs/contestents and then stumbling across this. Seriously, what is wrong with this world?

For those who ain't up-to-date with their subcultural references, a juggalo is the term given to a rabid fan of disgustingly bad rap-metal "musicians", Insane Clown Posse. There's literally thousands of these pathetic excuses for human life around the USA - I guess a British equivalent would be.. well we haven't actually got one because no matter how down the drain this country is going, we will never be populated by a large subculture of mentally-challenged facepainted wankers (ravers don't count) who live their lives based on the lyrical prose of Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J. This isn't a racist rant - America is just so much more weird and fucked up than us. I mean seriously, fat ugly Mudvayne fans are one thing - but this!?

The USA needs get its shit together and call for the extermination of these sad specimens of failure.

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Zen And The Art Of Breaking Everything In This Room.

I first heard the World/Inferno Friendship Society on the Leftover Crack track "Soon We'll Be Dead". I listened to some of their records and didn't know quite what to think.. I certainly wasn't sure about the vocals. It wasn't until I saw them live at the Engine Rooms that it clicked. About 10 of them came on stage (including some kid on guitar who couldn't have been over 11 and some fat accordion player with a perfectly styled moustache) and could barely all fit on it. Jack, the frontman, had this creepy energy about him and told some pretty funny stories while downing his bottle of red wine.

Basically, they sound like Dexy's Midnight Runners mixed with circus and gypsy music and punk "whoahhs". They're playing at the Prince Albert on July 21st and it's gonna kick off..

Their latest album is a concept album based on the life of Peter Lorre, the Hungarian-Austrian actor made famous in 1930's horror film M.

(2007) Addicted to Bad Ideas (Peter Lorre's Twentieth Century)

Thursday, 22 May 2008

The Youth Of Today.

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad's credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.
The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a "World of Warcraft" tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

Taken from an article on

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Hard Times.

Back before the Cro-Mags started making shitty hair-metal, they released an album that would eventually be regarded as one of the best hardcore punk albums of all time: the Age of Quarel.

This is the kind of record that sets hardcore nerds on jizz frenzies at it's sheer mention. Whilst most hardcore bands in the early days had been suburban bored teenagers screaming bollocks about angst and alienation, the Cro-Mags were violent New York street kids who didn't know how to fake being angry and aggressive. The were generally fucked off at everything.

John Joseph, who was on microphone duties before Harley took over and ruined everything, has just got about to releasing a book about his troublesome youth, in which he narrates some of the most insane stories you could imagine. Abuse, violence, drugs, prison, the Hare Krishna: he's seen a ridiculous amount of crazy shit. This book, The Evolution of a Cro-Magnon, is also available as an audiobook. You can download the whole thing below.

John Joseph - The Evolution Of A Cro-Magnon

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

The Negative Health Implications Of Etch Bath.

Always read the instructions!
Hopefully this will put him off graffiti for life.

From some toy's Flickr

Monday, 19 May 2008

DIY Tattooing.

DIY or "stick 'n poke" tattoos are fun, unhygienic, irresponsible and punk-as-fuck.
Here's a simple guide on how to inflict regrettable words and pictures on your friends' skin.

What you will need:
- A few friends who don't really care what they look like
- Some Indian ink
- A brand new sewing needle (for each willing canvas)
- Some thread
- Alcohol (this is optional but will probably make for a more interesting session)

First off, wash your hands with some soap - you really don't wanna give someone an infection. Take the needle out the packet and heat it on a gas stove or with a lighter until it is glowing red. Tie the thread round the needle up until about an eighth of it then tie it off - the thread will soak up the ink. Pour the ink into a seperate pot and dip the needle into the ink. Push the needle into the skin - this will leave a black dot. Basically, you need to connect the dots to create lines. Use a clean cloth or tissues to wipe away the excess ink from time to time. If your mate is really fucked, consider convincing them into getting something really stupid.

When you have finished, wrap the tattoo in clingfilm to minimise the risk of infection. Voila!

Here's an example of how you probably shouldn't do it but hey, it's all part of the learning process..

Ghetto Yoots.

Epic video..

Tuesday, 8 April 2008


Competitive eating has been practised for well over a century. It takes the form of organised contests in which contestents, sometimes known as "gurgitators", force as much food as possible down their throats within a set time limit. What better way is there to pass the boring reality of weekdays than to watch your friends nearly make themselves sick trying to digest a stupid amount of greasy food?

Eating Contest #1: The Sing-Li Challenge
Jack Deeks Vs. David Murphy
Monday 7th April 2008

Sing-Li is a Brighton fish 'n chip shop, just up the road from the station, that is stuck in some bygone age where cans of coke are 50p and the food is equally as cheap. To complete this challenge, the contestant must finish all the following items of food:

- 1x Large haddock
- 1x Large cod
- 1x Large portion of chips
- 1x Buttered roll
- 1x Large battered sausage
- 1x Battered burger

Their pure determination is evident

It all gets a bit too much for Mr. Deeks

WINNER: David Murphy

Eating Contest #2: The KFC Challenge
Tom Cater Vs. Conal Thomas
Tuesday 8th April 2008

For this contest, the challengers must eat a shitload of dirty chicken, supplied by London Road's bright and harmonious KFC outlet. They must completely demolish the following:

- 1x Family bucket of chicken
- 4x Large portions of chips
- 1x Large portion of coleslaw
- 1x Large portion of baked beans

Mr. Thomas dips into the pure bliss of KFC coleslaw

Conal buckles under the pressure

Cater finishes his last piece of greasy chicken..

..And the rest of his cold chips

WINNER: Tom Cater